A CAREGIVER SANDWICH

Good Morning Lord! Thank you for a restful night and a new day ahead to receive your blessings of the day and your tender mercies! Lord, my heart is sad this morning. Last night I received a heartbreaking phone call from our middle child. Our son Noah called with sad news that a young man from our extended family had died unexpectedly from a heart attack while napping earlier in the day. Nick was Noah’s brother-in-law from Noah’s first marriage to Kay. Nick was more like a brother than a brother-in-law to Noah. Nick’s father Harry called Noah to let him know of Nick’s passage. Harry is now alone with the deaths of first his daughter Kay, then his wife Phyllis, and now his only son Nick. Lord, life is so cruel sometimes. 

How I wanted to jump into the car and drive the 4 hour trip from Fargo to St. Paul last night. I wanted to hold Noah and his wife Monica in a tight hug. When our children’s hearts are broken, a mother's heart also breaks for them. But I am not free to do as I would like all the time due to ‘logistics’…sometimes I intensely dislike that word, logistics. For  the caregiver the synonyms for that word seem to be ‘challenges and hurdles to overcome’. I can not comfortably drive at night due to early stage cataracts. Then there is the dog we would have to find care for. Kenneling our dog is an expense I’m not certain we can take on right now; and the expense of travel is also to be considered on our tight budget.. Then there’s the disruption to my husband’s routine which causes other challenges especially in the evenings when his “sundowning” is more pronounced. 

Sometimes we can not offer the comfort and support we’d like to when we are sandwiched between the role of caregiver for a spouse, the role of parent for our adult children, the role of sibling, or friend. We want to be flexible and be physically, emotionally present but are already stretched thinly. So Lord, I am turning them over to you. At this moment only You can bring them the comfort you provide with your peace that passes our human understanding. That deep peace that is resonant with your comfort, stillness, acceptance and hope. 

Since I can not be physically present I will cling to your promise that you will care for and comfort Noah and Monica in my stead.The words are ancient but your promise is as fresh and true now as it was thousands of years go when you promised comfort to your people.

Isaiah 66:13 “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you;”

 

I don’t have the words of my own so I will borrow the words of  Numbers 6:24-26 to pray for our son Noah and daughter of our heart Monica, and especially for Nick’s wife Cara and Nick’s father Harry. Your words are a healing balm for our wounded hearts and souls. Thank you Lord for the power of Your words.

“May [You] the Lord bless and keep us [Noah, Monica, John, Cara and Harry]

Lord shine upon [us] and be gracious to [us]

Lord turn Your face toward [us] and give [us] your peace”  

In your holy name I pray,

Amen