HOLY SATURDAY

 

April 19, 2025

COFFEE WITH JESUS

HOLY SATURDAY

Good Morning Jesus, I love you. I can only imagine how your mother felt this morning after the horrors of your cruel death. There is no crueler time for a death than on a religious holiday. Especially one as sacred to culture and clan as is Passover. It is only hindsight that tells the rest of the story, the story of hope.

We went to the late afternoon Good Friday Service here in the chapel at Edgewood. It was led by a local pastor with the assistance of his family. It was a lovely meaningful service. I had not attended a Tenebrae Service (Service of Shadows) in years. We arrived early and entered the already filled darkened chapel and made our way to the front row which is of course always vacant. One of the oldest residents was sitting there,just in front of the pew in her power wheelchair. Her husband’s funeral had been held in this same chapel two weeks ago. At one point in the service she grabbed my hand and held it tightly. She is a lovely lady in her mid nineties. I hope it offered a bit of comfort for her when we held hands.  

The service is really moving with its lighting of candles one by one in the darkness, and then extinguishing them one by one with various parts of the liturgy. Of course, electric candles are used due to fire safety in settings such as our retirement community. I’m glad we attended.

There was only one fly in the ointment. At the conclusion of the service Tom wanted to go up and talk to the pastor who had dismissed us admonishing us to leave in silence and meditate upon the gravity of the reason for Good Friday. This is typical of any Good Friday service I’ve ever attended and also of every Good Friday service Tom ever led in his 33 years of active ministry. I gently steered him away with a hand placed lightly on his arm and whispered to remind him what Pastor Bob had asked of us. He got angry, shrugged off my hand. I turned to leave and had taken a step when he shoved me from behind. It didn’t hurt but it was embarrassing, I felt humiliated. Others saw him push me. I usually do a pretty good job of not personalizing his anger with me, it’s usually the effect of Alzheimer's, but in that moment it tipped the bucket.

He’s lost so many of his social filters and his behaviors draw unwanted attention to me so it was just the final straw, and there wasn’t any more patience left in me for the moment. I admit I reacted badly. I walked out and left him behind, waited until he came out, told him that if he wanted to speak to Pastor Bob he could do so when he came out, and that I was going to our apartment and would wait for him there. But then he didn't want to talk to the pastor. He followed me to the apartment and I was silent, channeling my hurt and anger into doing some tidying of the apartment and other things that needed to be done. I didn't have anything nice to say so I kept my mouth shut to try to avoid saying something mean I would regret later. But then he got angry because I was silent and I reacted not so gently, and told him why I was upset. He looked at me dumbfounded. He didn't get it. When I got a text from Noah asking us to join them for dinner I was able to let go and start to forgive Tom, apologized and moved on.

An hour later after we stopped to pick up pizzas and cheesy breadsticks from Papa Murphy's that our daughter-in-law Kasey had ordered, we were at our son John’s house to have supper with his family and with our other son Noah’s family. I'm thankful Noah married a therapist! I needed to vent a bit. My daughter-in-law Monica is great. She listened and helped me put it things back in perspective! Tom hung out in the garage for a bit with Noah and John. The break for me was much appreciated. The pizza and conversation was fun!! I especially enjoyed the conversations with Rosie present! She's grown into such a lovely young woman!!

We ended the evening with a rousing hysterically funny family game of POETRY FOR NEANDERTHALS that we'd given Rosie for her birthday earlier in the month. Julie’s family got to town and checked into their hotel late evening. We will see all our children and grandchildren today. The plan for tomorrow is to attend Easter Service in the morning and then go to Brunch after at the Delta Hotel. 

We are having lunch today with Julie’s family. It is going to be a full  weekend of family, faith, food and fun! 

Thank you Lord for all the blessings you shower upon us! We are grateful. You are so good to us all the time!