A PEARL OF GREAT VALUE

 

A PEARL OF GREAT VALUE

Jesus told a parable about a Pearl of Great Value in Matthew 13:45-46. 

45 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; 46 on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.

As I write this it is early in the month of June, just days after what would have been my mother’s 97th birthday. Memories of Mom led to memories of pearls connected to memorable life events. I remember as a child fingering her precious strand of pearls that she kept in a beautiful enameled  blue metal music box high on the shelf in a closet. I imagine she was hoping to keep it out of the reach of her children to protect this precious treasure. We were a curious nosy bunch! I remember the sense of awe and sacred mystery when I held them in my reverent hands, and the wonder as I watched the play of milky opalescence as I rolled them through my fingers like rosary beads. I know she wore them on her wedding day, but somewhere in the corner of memory there is an idea that she may have gotten them when she graduated from college in the late 1940s. She gave them to my younger sister Sheila when Sheila graduated from Mom’s Alma Mater. 

My husband gave me a pearl ring when we became engaged. I cherished it very much. It was lost when we opened the door of a moving truck to begin unloading the contents.  A box of my treasures fell off the truck and rolled down the hill, scattering its contents for nearly half a city block on the day that our family arrived in a new town for my husband  to begin Seminary.  I was deeply saddened. Years later He surprised me with a replacement for that ring. I received a Pearl ring as a gift for my tenth anniversary of working for a nonprofit family agency. Before she became  disabled by dementia, my mother sent me a package containing a pearl ring that Dad had given her for her birthday, and a pearl brooch, also a birthday gift from Dad for another of her birthdays. A pearl was her birthstone. I also have a pair of earrings that belonged to a daughter-in-law who died much too young. I prize all these pearls, some of the few earthly material treasures I have, not for their monetary value but rather for the  memories and sentiment attached to each pearl.

Pearls have fascinated humanity for centuries. Beyond their sentimental or monetary value, pearls have diverse meanings or symbolism, valued by different people, for cultural or spiritual reasons. References to pearls in the Holy Bible, as well as other religions’ sacred texts speak of their value in terms of rarity, truth, wisdom, faith, purity, nobility, beauty and grand potential. Volumes have been written about pearls. Romance, mystery adventure novels have been written about rare pearls, Mythology and fantasy are steeped with legends of pearls and those who search for them.

We generally consider the oyster as the main source of pearls, however many mollusks are capable of making pearls under the right circumstances. The oyster is not overtly attractive on their shell exterior. Like some humans, it’s inside where true beauty is found. Pearls begin forming when some small piece of irritant becomes lodged in soft tissue of the animal Often the irritant  piece comes from some outside source such as a parasite burrowing through the lip of the clam into the soft tissue, or with the resultant piece of displaced shell becoming the irritant in the soft tissue.  In self defense the oyster or clam secretes a milky substance called nacre which isolates the irritant by forming a layer all around it to protect the oyster from damage or death. Layers are added over time creating a pearl. Nacre is the beautiful  iridescent colorful substance that lines shells such as abalone, oyster and other mollusks. Exposed to the light it shines like captured sunrise and sunset. We commonly know this awe inspiring beauty as Mother of Pearl. 

Naturally occurring pearls are most highly valued for their rarity. Most pearls today are cultured pearls, grown in “farms” where the man made process of making pearls is done by introducing specs of irritation into the shells of oysters in sea water beds, or into the shells of clams in freshwater beds. Regardless of their origin, man made or natural occurring, they each have value. Their size, shape, color vary uniquely according to the irritant, the type of interruption and the location where it occurs as well as the intensity of the interruption into their shell, the intrusion into their very life. 

The diagnosis of dementia for a loved one is an uninvited intrusion into our otherwise normal life. As caregivers, after the shock of the initial diagnosis of dementia begins to wane, we begin to accept that life as we knew it will never be the same. Then we wait for a more definitive diagnosis, perhaps Alzheimer’s, Vascular Dementia, Frontotemporal Lobe Dementia, Lewy Bodies Dementia or other variations of the dementia diagnosis  to shine some light on our path forward. We begin to establish a routine in spite of the interruptions and challenges of daily life brought by the symptoms of the disease. Life goes on as best it can, we do our best day to day. Quite often the progression of the disease brings multiple sudden great disturbances to our daily lives. Other times it’s the irritation of smaller things that come along as symptoms of the disease that annoy us. Social filters lapse, table manners disintegrate as basic skill sets for daily living slowly deteriorate. On the one hand we know that our loved ones are not intentionally doing things to annoy, irritate, vex us or make us angry. On the other hand sometimes their behaviors aggravate us, sometimes embarrass us, exasperate us and exhaust us.

What if we were to look at all these interruptions, challenges, losses, irritations, sorrows in a positive light rather than all negative? What if we see our shells as our souls in which God is at work. He’s lining our innermost being with His beautiful grace while He covers those things that hurt us, harm us, frighten us in our day to day service of caregiving. What if we begin to see our service as caregivers as God at work building something beautiful, layer by layer atop something that has disrupted the life we envisioned with our loved one? Is it possible God is covering those interruptions with beauty we can’t see yet? God continues to cover new intrusions that continue to threaten us with new irritants every day? What if we were to frame this as God making pearls, lining our souls with beauty, covering over the things that threatened to destroy us but in reality add great value and beauty to our experience as caregiver? What if our caregiving can add great beauty or our life? What if we were to see our caregiving as being a participant with God in revealing to our person, and others who observe us, a glimpse of the Kingdom of God here on earth? The Kingdom is built on empathy, gentleness, wisdom, acceptance, compassion, kindness, and sacrifice for another’s good. Jesus is the ultimate caregiver who gave all of himself so that we each might be found, healed and saved.

 

To think about: Our service may be for the life or our person, or it may be for only a season, but it is a mission that God has called us to. What if we were to see ourselves as stewards of our person, see our person as  a one of a kind pearl of great value? Our person is a pearl of great value worth giving all we are able, to sacrifice, to hold on to and cherish for a time, until Jesus comes to take them home to the Heavenly Kingdom of God? How might that affect, enlighten, equip us for the task, strengthen our resolve, reinforce the meaning and sense of purpose of  all the big and little things that we do daily for our person? 

Scripture: 

Matthew 13: 45-46 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; 46 on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.

Job 28:18 “...the price of wisdom is above pearls.”

Prayer: Lord Jesus, You are the model for all caregivers, your sacrifice for the health and wellbeing of your people is beyond our comprehension. Only You can provide the resources of all we need to fulfil the mission you have called us to as servant caregiver to another of your precious people. Holy Spirit, remind us of your presence when we feel unable to perform the task of caregiver. Fill us with love to fuel our path forward. In Jesus’ holy name I pray.

Amen.