GOODBY 2025!

 THE YEAR IN REVIEW

Goodbye 2025! The door closed in a whirring blur as you exited

You were the best of years, and the worst of years! You passed so quickly in a jumble of mixed emotions, blessings, love, troubles, gratitude, uncertainty, faith, challenges, small victories, loss, celebrations, delightful surprises, disappointments and threads of golden joy woven into the strands of the ribbon of life that unfolded through the year. Through all the ups and downs God has been faithful and had our backs holding us [ME] up when we couldn’t hold ourselves up. He has sent people to encourage us, help us, lift us up and support us through the hardest times and to share our joy in the best of times.

In January 2025 we got together with all of our kids and grandkids for a weekend at Arrowood Resort in Alexandria MN to celebrate our “Oberg Christmas”. This year we will again get together Saturday January 17, over MLK weekend, but at a hotel here in Fargo instead. (Much easier for Tom and myself as traveling with him is somewhat challenging.) It will be a joyful occasion regardless of where we meet and for how long. 

Tom’s Alzheimer’s symptoms have progressed very much this year. At the end of March, I had to quit my job in the Edgewood Coffee Shop and dining department when it became obvious that he couldn’t be left alone. My duties as his caregiver became more imperative as he obviously now needed 24/7 care and supervision.  His symptoms have increased even more since then. The demands of caregiving, anxiety  about the uncertainty of our future in light of Tom's Alzheimer's,  precipitated some health problems of my own which necessitated both occupational therapy and physical therapy several days a week and contributed to severe anxiety and a major depressive episode in recent months. Thanks to the help God provides, therapies, support from friends and family, support from staff here at Edgewood, some additional medications, I am feeling much better now physically and emotionally, and able to function normally again. 

In April, all the kids came to Fargo for Easter. That  was a really joyful time for Tom and me! We all went to church Easter morning, and then off to brunch after. 

In May, over Mother’s Day weekend, our son Noah graduated that Friday with his MBA. We were able to go to St Paul to attend his graduation and celebration the next day, and also spend time with his family and our daughter Julie’s family on Mother’s Day.  It was  such a happy time for us!! Noah continues to work for Ameriprise, our DIL Monica, a clinical social worker, has her own private practice and is quite busy! Our grandson Max Thomas, AKA “Tommy Tornado” turned 6 in July, started Kindergarten in September. He has a smile that lights up a room! He’s a busy boy! He loves Mickey Mouse, Lion King, and wrestling with anyone who’s game for it! We see a future in Special Olympics Wrestling for him! We enjoy video chats with him and his parents just about every week. Max is developmentally delayed due to Down Syndrome. He is a bundle of joy and energy!

The staff here at Edgewood has arranged for Tom to attend  a few hours of day programming Monday through Friday, in the Memory Care Unit, “Glen’s Place”.  It has given me time to attend my PT/OT sessions and other appointments, lead the Bible Study that I enjoy, and to take care of business and errands. It has gotten more difficult to take Tom with me for the latter. 

I began facilitating a Bible Study for a few women here at Edgewood a few months ago. We  five are studying 30 of the Hebrew names for God. It’s been a wonderful experience for all of us I think. We all find support and understanding as Christian Women, caregiving spouses or widows of husbands with dementia. It has been a huge source of support for me! I look forward to that hour of fellowship every Tuesday morning! I learn so much from these delightful women! I’ve missed going to church each Sunday like we did before Tom’s Alzheimer’s symptoms progressed so this helps fill a gap. We are fortunate to be able to watch church services online.

I began writing a book early in  2025. I secured a publisher for self publishing. The concept for my book is that it be a sort of inspirational book/devotional for Care Givers to persons with Dementia (Title to be determined). Thank goodness there’s no deadline for publication. I was writing faithfully each morning, but as Tom’s condition progressed rapidly and demanded so much more of my time, attention, thought and energy,  work on the book has fallen to the wayside but I will pick it up and work again on finishing it this year! To quote Proverbs 16:9, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps”. God’s plans, timing and seasons always work out better than what I have planned.

When the 25/26 school year commenced in August, I began “working” M-F. as a part time care provider as needed, for our amazing granddaughter Morgan, 11 years old. Spending time with her does not feel like work!  Being wheelchair dependent she needs someone to make sure that she gets into the house when she gets off the school bus. After that she needs very little assistance. She is very independent and a typical tween! She takes part in so many adaptive activities and sports such as Adaptive Dance, sled hockey, wheelchair basketball and soccer and others. Her parents provide her with every opportunity they can. She’s a beautiful girl, an avid reader and also spends a lot of time playing Roblox and watching youtube videos. Her older sister Ashlyn is also a wonderful young woman. She's taking many AP classes, participates in band, volunteering service hours needed to be inducted into National Honor Society, works part time in retail, helps with her little sister. (She's an awesome big sister) I enjoy our chats when she gets home from school on the days she’s at her dad’s house. She's a great kid, beautiful, bright, funny, wise for her age and I’d like to be more like her “when I grow up”! Our son John is operations manager for Duke Rentals, renting big equipment  to construction companies etc. He’s a hard worker, works long hours, and covers quite an area! We’re fortunate to live so close to see him occasionally when he’s not working. Kasey continues to work as Nurse Manager at Essentia Hospital’s Cardiace Cath Lab. We’re  so proud of all our kids and their spouses!

In September, Tom turned 76. We rode on the float Edgewood entered in the West Fargo West Fest parade. The float was a Wizard of Oz theme  “There’s no place like Edgewood!” Tom dressed in costume as ScareCrow, and I dressed as The Wicked Witch with others dressed as Dorothy, Tin Man, Lion, the Wizard. There was even a little dog representing Toto. Edgewood treated all of us to lunch together at a local restaurant. It was a  fun day!

In October, our son John drove us to Dubuque Iowa where we stayed for 2 nights to attend my youngest brother Mike’s inauguration as President of Loras College. It was so good to see my siblings! Noah drove down from St Paul for the occasion as did Julie and Matt and their 2 girls. We're all so proud of my youngest brother Mike!

In November I was surprised by a visit with my  best friend from High School, Barb Moring and her husband Paul. What a joy that was!! We went to St Paul for Thanksgiving at Noah and Monica with Julie’s family joining us too. The day after Thanksgiving was my birthday which we celebrated at Julie’s house. All of my kids spoiled me rotten!

Tom’s older brother Dan died suddenly the week before Christmas. After spending time on Christmas Eve with John, Kasey and Morgan, on Christmas morning I drove us to St Paul to  spend a delightful Christmas Evening with Julie and Matt and our granddaughters Maddie and Hannah (and Matt’s family who they were entertaining that afternoon/evening such good people as well. ) I relished the opportunity to spend time with the girls. Maddie is 10, taking piano lessons, loves Pokeman, Minecraft, STEM activities, swimming and learning valuable life skills with her dad, assembling furniture, household fixtures and making repairs. She’s a bright funny girl with a dry sense of humor that reminds me of my mother’s wit! She’s doing well in school and is a good big sister to Hannah. 

Julie drove us to Dixon IL December 26th. We arrived in time to check into the hotel and had a bit of time to freshen up before the visitation Friday evening at the funeral home.  It was good to be there to visit with family Friday night. My sister Sheila bowled me over when she showed up at the church the morning of the funeral. She’d driven from Solon Iowa to be there to support us. We attended the funeral on Saturday morning and then headed back to St Paul right after the funeral. We got back in time to have dinner  and spend time before the girls went to bed. Tom and I went to bed early.  

We had planned to drive back  from St Paul on Sunday the 28th but a winter storm meant we’d stay for another night with Matt and Julie. Hannah (age 7)  especially was happy about that. I enjoyed spending time cuddling and hanging around with her and getting to know both beautiful girls better. Hannah Catherine is adorable, very loving, creative, smart, sweet, funny, kind, little girl with a flair for entertaining and dramatic much like her Godmother Catherine. (We would not be surprised if she gets into theater. She loves fashion, swimming, crafts and soccer! 

I’ve been inquiring about and looking at some Senior Apartments. I toured one on December 30th and 2 on January 2.  I am working on the application to  one I saw on January 2. Tom will be going into Memory Care sometime in the next month or two. I’m just not able to always keep him safe and  It’s obvious that we can’t both afford to live here at Edgewood when he does go into Memory Care, so I need to find another place to live that I can afford on what little income I have. But God has always had our backs so I know he has plans for me; I trust him to take care of me (I claim God’s promise in Jeremiah 29:11). 

Now just barely into the year 2026 I am feeling ready to take on the challenges of the coming year, buoyed up by faith and hope that God gives me. It will be a year of changes and transitions but I God will be the solid ground on which I stand when I’m shaking. God is good all the time.